Dear Reader,
First, let me apologize. My hope was that I would be writing daily entries into this blog during my trip. However, the truth is by the time I would get back to the hotel every night I would be physically, emotionally, and spiritual exhausted. A few nights after everything was done, when all the talking was out, when I would be laying alone in that hotel bed with the flicker of some cable tv show casting the room in that strange blue hue that it seems only hotel tvs give off, I would cry - sometimes simply unavoidable tears escaping the corners of my eyes; sometimes heavy sobs I had prevented during the day built up and came pouring out. I could scarcely comprehend some of what I witnessed and am still not sure if I have the words in this moment, as I sit waiting for my flight home, to describe, to explain, to even marginally - let alone adequately - tell you about the current situation at the border.
I suppose I start by telling you why I was there and how I came to be at our border trying to assess the situation. About a year ago I was selected with 14 other ministers of various Denominations throughout Indiana to participate in a Lily Endowment Program called “The Wabash Pastoral Leadership Program” (WPLP). The main goal of the program is to help develop pastors who “show potential in leadership” through education, various travel opportunities, and meeting with civil leaders locally, in the state, and nationally. One of the subjects we’ve been looking at closely is immigration both legally and illegally as many of these migrants are settling in the state of Indiana. My own congregation has partnered with a local organization that essentially builds support and halfway houses for refugees. Immigration is becoming an issue that is playing a growing role in our worshipping community.
Through our studies and the Lily Endowment, we had an opportunity to travel to Texas for a week to study immigration right at our own border between Texas and Mexico. We were to fly into San Antonio on a Tuesday, stay for a day, then drive 4.5 hours to McAllen, Texas where we would meet with various organizations and civic leaders, visit an immigration center, travel to Reynosa, Mexico, visit a migration camp, cross the border again, meet with more people, then travel back to San Antonio for essentially debriefing and recovery before flying back the following Monday. Some parts of the trip and some meetings were canceled due to COVID-19 and a meeting of mayors statewide in Texas to discuss the immigration concerns this state and our country are facing.
Truthfully, immigration has been a topic that I’ve remained conflicted on. I see the necessity of borders. I understand we have to have rules, laws, and order as to who we let in the country, why we let them into the country, and how we let them into the country. Yet, the reporting I’ve seen around immigration always seemed to carry an agenda painting ALL migrants coming across the Mexican border as thugs, criminals, rapists, and murderers or it seemed like emotional propaganda designed to motivate us to just open the border wide and let everyone who can make it come across. I’ve always tended to be a person who believes that the truth, the real story is somewhere in the middle of those two poles, but I had no idea where I was supposed to get reliable information. So, the idea of going to the border, seeing what’s happening with my own eyes, talking with Border Patrol Agents, with both documented and undocumented immigrants on both sides of the border, and with community leaders on both sides of the issue seemed like a dream scenario to me. I wanted to see and know for myself. Maybe then I could form an opinion or a strong feeling on where I stood. What I witnessed would challenge almost every belief, conviction, and ounce of faith I had in humanity, this country, and maybe even in God. I saw and heard stories that can only be described as unspeakable evil. Yet, I witnessed some of the most loving and giving acts of humanity, kindness, and faith. I encountered moments and people full of such hope it nearly took my breath away. Yet, I experienced moments and people who were trying their absolute best to take that hope and dash it across the rocks cynicism and hatred trying to shatter it into a million pieces.
I hope that you will remain patient with me as I try to process my journey with you and as I try my best to describe to you what I saw, what I felt, and how I feel today. This may take a bit longer and be spread over a longer timeline than I initially expected. Just as I’m discovering with the greater picture of immigration in this country itself, my experience and my journey is far more nuanced and complex than I could have ever imagined…